Getting Through Difficult Times

On November 30, 2011, the world lost an amazing woman. Donna MacNiven, mother to my best friend and grandmommy to my Goddaughter, lost her heroic battle to breast cancer. The amount of love and support that surrounds her family and friends is contagious. Many of us who have been on the other side of a loss often feel helpless and unknowing of what to do to help. What I learned this weekend is that just being there helps. Be there to hug, cry, try to be strong, say a prayer, hold and squeeze a hand. That and food.

The amount of food that was brought to the house this weekend was enormous. And DELICIOUS. It wasn't until a lovely neighbor came by with a plate (actually, it was a platter) of cookies and a beautiful cake and said, "I probably should have brought a big salad" that I realized just how many of the individuals I meet with everyday feel in similar situations. At someone else's house, surrounded by every cookie known to man, desserts worthy of Martha Stewart's magazine, not to mention the emotions, grief and sorrow going through your heart and mind as you think of those that have passed. How do you make healthy choices???

Well, first things first. Eat a healthy breakfast. Everyday this weekend approximately 1 dozen bagels magically appeared. Also, fruit. Bingo! Fruit, a whole grain bagel hollowed out (I like the crust) and toasted, with a little peanut butter.

Exercise. Exercise is a natural stress reliever, and a great way to burn off some anxiety. Even if it means taking the kids down to to the pond to feed the ducks (they're awfully full from all of those left over bagels).

Find a vegetable. Any vegetable. Try to fill half of your plate with them.

Go easy on the desserts and snack wisely. Snack on heart-healthy (also crunchy and salty) nuts, fruit, vegetables dipped in hummus (Hint: if you are like me, cooking is a natural stress reliever, so preparing healthy dishes and snacks would be a big help too).

Alcohol is not a food group. I must admit, we did overindulge a bit this weekend, but there was a lot of therapeutic laughter and story-telling accompanying these glasses of wine. I wouldn't trade those hours where we were able to laugh and let loose a bit for anything!

Sleep! Again, I should have listened to myself more this weekend. But isn't that what life is all about? We learn to listen to our bodies. They have a magical way of telling us to slow down. When there is a tragedy though, we often ignore these signals.

 Finally, enjoy life. Recognize that eating too much one weekend is not going to "ruin everything". Get back on track. Find peace and comfort in the fact that even when a beloved person leaves this Earth, they are not gone from our hearts or our memories. If your newest angel is anything like mine, she would want you to live life with no regrets, enjoy every second, laugh often and take care of yourself.

Rest in Peace sweet Donna. Love ya!